This is me saying Goodbye…

I was in love with you for six years. All these poems are for you and for our love. We saw a future together, you and me. But here I am on my own and you are there. 

Forgetting you is impossible. I do not even try and continuing this blog is something I thought I should not be doing. It does not feel right. 

I can be found on Instagram and my page is @coldheartedhiccups. If you like my poetry,please meet me there. 

I will not write here again.

I will always love you. Just like the first day, til my last breathe.

Love,

Dakshi

(Bow River,Calgary, Canada – photo by Me)

I don’t know what I should do anymore…

All these years I wrote for you. Even when you hurt me, I could not stop loving. But you do not love me anymore. I am hurt and feeling cold. I may never write again. I will not delete my blog, as you did. What I felt was real. what I wrote was real.

I love you but you teased me. Many years ago, you said “I love you, Poet” and that person got lost in anger and frustration. I waited for you. I did. You stopped loving me.

I don’t know what I should do anymore.

 

23/03/2017

I am scared to be Lonely…

I came running to you.

After every fight, every misunderstanding, every time sharp words stabbed the hell out of me or you. After every tear, after every pain, after every problem, I came running to you.

You used to ignore me, my face, my tears, my heart, my love but not for long. You gave up and gave in and the status quo was restored.

There was no one who gave me pains and love like you. You needed space but you needed me too. You pushed me so hard but I came back rushing, forgetting every barrier between us.

You were my personal hell and my heaven. You were my Lucifer and my Guardian Angel. You killed me and brought me back to life.

You are the trap I get caught willingly.
If I cut all the bullshit, you are inevitable to me.

 

18/03/2017

 

 

 

Do you even remember me?

I walked alone on empty streets

Saw puddles of melting snow

I wonder what you’d think right now

Do you even remember me?

 

16/03/2017

I am only HUMAN…

 

You loved me,

I do not deny

Not today but once upon a time

I could feel it in my bones

You glaze sent shivers down my spine

And when our eyes met

I remember how you smiled colyly

Those were the days before hurricane

Those were the days we were in love

 

What happened in between

I would like to know

When I spend agonizing days

And nights

On my own

You said you love me

But you broke my heart

Not once, not twice

But many a times

 

Questioned eyes and wrath

Days in silence

You cut me off without a touch

 

You deprived me all the kisses

Avoiding all my pleads

You made me feel numb

Against my wishes

 

I had so much love

Only for you, only for you

But you were determined to torture me

You made all the rules

Love cannot be forced

It should spring from the heart

I don’t know what you feel anymore

I just know you are a coldheart…

 

15/03/2017

Can you just walk away?

How can you just walk away

When I have love for us both

Overflowing?
Tied down to words

I was stabbed

And my innocence

Questioned
I could not walk away

Still

I look at you

Trying to find a glimpse

Of who you used to be

But you have already turn your back

And going away
Not pleas nor tears, nothing seems to stop you now

You seem to be on a mission to hurt me

You win

I am lost

I’m going numb and cold
09/03/2017

Am I toxic to you?

 

Who am I to you?

Just a footnote of

Once upon a story?

 

A memory you choose to forget

And move on with the crowd?

 

A mistake, the worst kind

So toxic,

That you cannot stand?

 

Who am I to you?

Do you know me?

Or are you trying to see me,

At all?

 

06/03/2017

If I go away, I want you to know…

“Would you love me if I was an invalid?”

You asked me once,

I said “ I don’t wanna hear about it”

 

But would you love me if I become an invalid?

I felt the fear tonight

It I twist my limbs

If I hit my head harder

If I lose myself in this snow

If I freeze til I die?

Would you even know?

 

When my body is rotting under thick ice

You would try to reach me

Would you miss me, then?

When they’d find my bones

You will write to me

What would you think of me?

Would you dream of us together?

Would you wonder where I am?

Would you worry like I always do?

 

I would be gone,

Never doubt of my love, even for a second

Until my last breath

I would have loved you,

Like I always do

till  my heart beats…

05/03/2017

Slow and silent death…

I feel my heart is numb

And blood turning cold

Would all my emotions die,

A slow and silent death?
05/03/2017

Insomania Continues…

All night

I am awake

Tossing

Turning

Wondering

How fucked up

My life is…
05/03/2017