All these years I wrote for you. Even when you hurt me, I could not stop loving. But you do not love me anymore. I am hurt and feeling cold. I may never write again. I will not delete my blog, as you did. What I felt was real. what I wrote was real.
I love you but you teased me. Many years ago, you said “I love you, Poet” and that person got lost in anger and frustration. I waited for you. I did. You stopped loving me.
I don’t know what I should do anymore.
I came running to you.
After every fight, every misunderstanding, every time sharp words stabbed the hell out of me or you. After every tear, after every pain, after every problem, I came running to you.
You used to ignore me, my face, my tears, my heart, my love but not for long. You gave up and gave in and the status quo was restored.
There was no one who gave me pains and love like you. You needed space but you needed me too. You pushed me so hard but I came back rushing, forgetting every barrier between us.
You were my personal hell and my heaven. You were my Lucifer and my Guardian Angel. You killed me and brought me back to life.
You are the trap I get caught willingly.
If I cut all the bullshit, you are inevitable to me.
I walked alone on empty streets
Saw puddles of melting snow
I wonder what you’d think right now
Do you even remember me?
You loved me,
I do not deny
Not today but once upon a time
I could feel it in my bones
You glaze sent shivers down my spine
And when our eyes met
I remember how you smiled colyly
Those were the days before hurricane
Those were the days we were in love
What happened in between
I would like to know
When I spend agonizing days
On my own
You said you love me
But you broke my heart
Not once, not twice
But many a times
Questioned eyes and wrath
Days in silence
You cut me off without a touch
You deprived me all the kisses
Avoiding all my pleads
You made me feel numb
Against my wishes
I had so much love
Only for you, only for you
But you were determined to torture me
You made all the rules
Love cannot be forced
It should spring from the heart
I don’t know what you feel anymore
I just know you are a coldheart…
How can you just walk away
When I have love for us both
Tied down to words
I was stabbed
And my innocence
I could not walk away
I look at you
Trying to find a glimpse
Of who you used to be
But you have already turn your back
And going away
Not pleas nor tears, nothing seems to stop you now
You seem to be on a mission to hurt me
I am lost
I’m going numb and cold
Who am I to you?
Just a footnote of
Once upon a story?
A memory you choose to forget
And move on with the crowd?
A mistake, the worst kind
That you cannot stand?
Who am I to you?
Do you know me?
Or are you trying to see me,
“Would you love me if I was an invalid?”
You asked me once,
I said “ I don’t wanna hear about it”
But would you love me if I become an invalid?
I felt the fear tonight
It I twist my limbs
If I hit my head harder
If I lose myself in this snow
If I freeze til I die?
Would you even know?
When my body is rotting under thick ice
You would try to reach me
Would you miss me, then?
When they’d find my bones
You will write to me
What would you think of me?
Would you dream of us together?
Would you wonder where I am?
Would you worry like I always do?
I would be gone,
Never doubt of my love, even for a second
Until my last breath
I would have loved you,
Like I always do
till my heart beats…
I feel my heart is numb
And blood turning cold
Would all my emotions die,
A slow and silent death?
I remember the time you wrote me
I was lost in your words of love
But hatred got the better of you
Throwing everything to the wind
I know you feel nothing towards me
You just pity me,that is all
Will I ever be the girl whom you kissed?
I am still that girl who love you with my soul..