I wrote this in my letter blog, livingwithyourlove.wordpress.com
and decided to share with you all.
I have been feeling a bit of unrest in November. Angry at times, frustrated too. Most of the time, you hurt me and I tried to find solace in books, especially Danielle Steel. She is one of the remarkable writers in the world and funnily it was you who suggested her to me. But I don’t like the way she writes about bittersweet love affairs, love affairs like ours at times.
I finished reading “Lone Eagle” and found it relates to us in someway. Both protagonists, kate and Joe, reminded of us. Kate, full of love towards Joe and lacked understanding at first that he was a man of different calibre, aloof, lonely man who was passionate about flying and that would always be his first love. He was a man of few words but honest, a free spirit who refused to tie down by responsibilities. If so he would disappear rather than sit and face those.
He reminded me your free soul which you constantly speak and long. I can relate to kate with my fears and abandance of love and loneliness. I miss you most of the time. I want you here, near me but you are hardly here. I wish you would call me and ask whether I got late to come home. I wish you would be responsible for me because underneath this strong exterior, I am a girl who longed to be cared for. Just like Kate.
Joe found kate, fell in love despite his wishes to stay away from her, had to fight the War as a Fighter Pilot and kate waited for him. Even after they reported him been captured by Germans because he was an Ace pilot, a honourable man recognised by the world. She never gave up on him, for two years and finally when the war was over he came home, as a wounded hero.
He was afraid of commitments, afraid to marry her, wanted to be with her, wanted no kids and after regaining his previous health he was going to start a new empire of building commercial aircrafts and had little time for her. She wanted stability and love, a life with him and she waited another two years and one day she walked away because his lack of commitment and went and married a friend she knew afrer some time.
The new guy, Andy was head over heal in love with her and they had a kid. Unfortunately things got a twist when he, a lawyer, had to attend War Trials in Europe for four months. She met the successful Joe, passing her one day and they were like magnets. The old love regained momentum and they were madly in love again and when Andy was due to come, both she and Joe wanted her to divorce him because Joe did not want to let her go. He was a big shot and he wanted to have her to complete his life.
Andy refused to give divorce and lied to Joe and he broke up with her again making her a ghost which made Andy give her the much needed divorce a year later.
Then Finally Kate and Joe, got married but life was blissful for a short period. When he had to fly all over the world for business she was lonely and they fought. He was never there for her. She was lonely. Just like me isn’t it?
He had enough of her nagging and pestering, he left her and wanted a divorce.
It rattled her life, she was upset and was in excruciating pain but slowly she became an independent, strong woman and he sensed that and they both did not want to end things. They were soul mates after all. Losing and finding each other again and again. They canceled the divorce and lived happily until one day Joe died in a blast where he was testing his own commercial aeroplanes.
This book made me thinking, love is not easy but when we find the right person we have to be committed and true to that one person. Life is all about loving till the end. And believing in happy endings.
I love you..